When you get married or have a baby, people love to say: “Just wait.” “Oh, you think you’re tired now? Just wait until the baby comes.” “You think he annoys you now? Just wait until you’ve been together 20 years.” “You think you have problems now? Just wait.” Just wait. Two small words, almost always said with a hint of dread. A warning, really. Like—sure, things might be hard now, but buckle up! It only gets worse from here.

This coming Sunday marks six years of marriage for Grace and me. Six years. I’m not sure where the time went. In some ways, it feels like I met her just yesterday. In other ways, it feels like we’ve been together forever, like our souls have known each other for much longer than our calendars suggest. From the beginning, Grace and I were committed to one thing: we never wanted to pretend our marriage was perfect.